By Cary L. Cooper, Suzan Lewis
This article offers pointers on facing tough staff and employers tactfully and successfully.
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Extra resources for 30 Minutes to Deal with Difficult People (30 Minutes)
If you are going to respond, say how you are feeling: ᔢ avoid the ‘yes, but’ approach because it usually results in the other person digging in their heels and defending their own position. An argument will be the most likely outcome of this tactic ᔢ avoid being confrontational: aggression breeds aggression ᔢ use empathetic assertion techniques; this is active listening towards the other person, to show that you have heard what they are saying, respect them, and take them seriously. This is not easy to do because your anger will drive you to speak your mind and ensure that the other person hears your opinion.
For example, ‘I cannot have the export report ready in five days’ time. I already have X to do which is urgent, and this will take me three days, so I cannot have the report ready in five days’ time. ’ When working with a Type A colleague include some time for ‘the unexpected’ in a work schedule because the Type A individual is unlikely to do this! 52 30 Minutes to Deal with Difficult People Dealing with the abrasive personality The strategy to use in dealing with an abrasive personality will, of course, depend on whether the individual is a colleague or boss.
If you reciprocate an act as a ‘buddy’ for the other person you will develop a bond which will strengthen goal commitment and the likelihood of success. 59 30 Minutes to Deal with Difficult People Step Six: Monitor progress Keep a log in which you write about your progress. This can be a daily or weekly log; or one in which you just monitor critical events. Typically, you could write about: ᔢ ᔢ ᔢ ᔢ ᔢ ᔢ the situation what you did (the behaviour) who else was involved in the interaction what the other person(s) did (their behaviour) what should you have done?
30 Minutes to Deal with Difficult People (30 Minutes) by Cary L. Cooper, Suzan Lewis