Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers - download pdf or read online

By Geraldine K. Piorkowski

ISBN-10: 0313346003

ISBN-13: 9780313346002

Romantic love is frequently an elusive, fragile, and tenuous kingdom, tough to keep up throughout time. The premiums of divorce, re-divorce, dating violence, and abuse this day attest to the face we're failing at romantic love. And for teen-aged and grownup kids of divorce, romantic love will be specially elusive. simply because they've got no roadmap for a delightful, strong romatic courting derived from their very own mom and dad, they're burdened through what love is and have a tendency to make bad companion offerings. Borrowing seriously from pop culture for unrealistic criteria concerning love, they turn into upset whilst their all-too-ordinary fanatics do not degree up. in particular liable to the issues their mom and dad had, they have a tendency to overreact in the same damaging model and are all too able to think about divorce while disappointment moves. In trying to halt intergenerational transmission of divorce, Psychologist Piorkowski issues to how we will be able to realize that American pop culture offers an overly-sexualized, explosive, and superficial model of affection that cannot final. With this booklet, grownup kids of divorce can start to see how they've been tormented by familial studies, and boost a brand new, lifelike map to discover extra gratifying and enduring romantic relastionships.Piorkowski, in an in depth evaluate of literature, additionally seems at cultural elements and the way they influence romantic love and marriage. unlike American well known culture's shallow rendition of romantic love, many cultures in different places on this planet emphasize compatibility, faith, and kinfolk allegiance. accordingly, says the writer, such marriages seem extra strong than American unions equipped upon the transferring sands of emotion.

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Extra resources for Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers

Sample text

Thus, because of the contradictions they experienced with these feelings and conditions in their families of origin, they are especially apt to confuse obligation and guilt with love. OTHER CONFOUNDING FACTORS Besides emotional needs and familial role behaviors, the state of being “in love” is profoundly influenced by other variables, such as psychological vulnerability, self-esteem (particularly around lovability), and mastery motivation (the latter topic is covered in Chapter 3), which affect love’s timing, intensity, Which Love Is Love?

Thus, because of the contradictions they experienced with these feelings and conditions in their families of origin, they are especially apt to confuse obligation and guilt with love. OTHER CONFOUNDING FACTORS Besides emotional needs and familial role behaviors, the state of being “in love” is profoundly influenced by other variables, such as psychological vulnerability, self-esteem (particularly around lovability), and mastery motivation (the latter topic is covered in Chapter 3), which affect love’s timing, intensity, Which Love Is Love?

In the throes of passion, the adolescent, who reasons that such intensity of feeling must be love, wants to merge with the other in both body and soul, and spend every waking moment in the company of his lover. When the other person is absent, obsessive thoughts about the other keep the lover alive and present each and moment. In one study cited in the Monitor on Psychology,5 college students had difficulty in shifting their focus from their partner to an acquaintance; they couldn’t stop thinking about their partners.

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Adult Children of Divorce: Confused Love Seekers by Geraldine K. Piorkowski


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